Therapy is not forever.
One of the most common questions when considering therapy is the commitment level required. For those new to the process or unsure about how long they might need to engage with a therapist, it’s essential to understand that the duration and intensity of therapy are primarily determined by the individual’s unique circumstances and eagerness to address and resolve their issues. Due to the uncertainty surrounding the therapeutic process, many therapists often experience being ghosted by clients ( I’ve had my fair share of being ghosted in many different ways). I make it a point to be transparent about the fact that the decision to continue therapy is typically made on a week-to-week basis. If you don’t want to see a therapist forever, you don’t have to.
I approach my practice with kindness, consideration, and empathy, fully understanding that clients may not wish to maintain a long-term connection with me simply because of the nature of therapy. One question that clients can ask their therapist based on their presenting problem is how many sessions it would take to attain their goals. This could be a great collaboration for the client and therapist to work on it together. Another helpful tool is to try therapy for three sessions, and from there, let the therapist know if you want to keep going. The fear of commitment can be a barrier to clients meeting their needs. Keep it as simple as possible, and don't over-contemplate therapy. As a therapist, my role is not to force you into therapy—if you feel that way, take some more time to reconsider before engaging.
Therapists are human, and although some clients lose sight of that, I always see the look of hesitation, but they often don't address their concerns. Honestly, people always fear commitment and the belief that you need to be with a therapist for a long time may not appeal to everyone. I completely understand that this process works differently for each person. It is necessary to know your comfort level and how far out of it you are willing to go—a client can say that they only see themselves doing therapy short-term and may need more time to explore later.
Entering this therapeutic space can feel overwhelming, so try not to make it more difficult by assuming that you have to be in it longer than you would like; therapy aims to get you to the point where you feel equipped to manage situations without it. I care deeply about my clients, but I know that at some point, they will no longer need me. Don’t let the fear of commitment stop you from seeking support. Even if you only tried therapy a few times, at least you took that step.
I don’t assume I will be granted another session—this leaves pressure off the client and the therapist. Be open to telling a therapist what’s going on in your mind about the therapy process, even if you don’t have the right words to say. Many clients don’t want to hurt a therapist's feelings, and instead of sharing their thoughts, they use the route of completely disappearing.
If you’re a client thinking about venturing on this journey, a therapist will provide the correct blueprint for you to work out your needs and potentially reduce your fear of commitment.
